{"id":448,"date":"2026-05-12T14:54:34","date_gmt":"2026-05-12T12:54:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/makingblog.audencia.com\/scroll-think\/?p=448"},"modified":"2026-05-12T14:54:56","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T12:54:56","slug":"likes-stories-ex-comment-poser-ses-limites-en-couple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/makingblog.audencia.com\/scroll-think\/2026\/05\/12\/likes-stories-ex-comment-poser-ses-limites-en-couple\/","title":{"rendered":"Likes, stories, ex : comment poser ses limites en couple ?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Stories, likes, ex, mots de passe\u2026 Avec Helena et Leo, on parle des limites \u00e0 poser en couple sur les r\u00e9seaux, sans tomber dans le contr\u00f4le.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Les r\u00e9seaux sociaux font aujourd\u2019hui partie de nos relations. Ils ne sont pas \u201c\u00e0 c\u00f4t\u00e9\u201d du couple : ils s\u2019invitent dans les discussions, dans les disputes, dans les doutes, parfois m\u00eame dans les r\u00e8gles qu\u2019on se fixe \u00e0 deux.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un like sur une photo, une story regard\u00e9e, un ex encore suivi, un message auquel on r\u00e9pond un peu trop vite \u2014 ou pas assez. Parfois, ce sont des d\u00e9tails. Parfois, \u00e7a devient un vrai sujet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Et personnellement, je pense qu\u2019on juge souvent trop vite les r\u00e9actions des autres. On dit facilement \u201celle est trop jalouse\u201d ou \u201cil est trop contr\u00f4lant\u201d, alors qu\u2019en r\u00e9alit\u00e9, derri\u00e8re ces r\u00e9actions, il y a souvent un besoin d\u2019\u00eatre rassur\u00e9, respect\u00e9, ou simplement \u00e9cout\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pour comprendre comment un couple Gen Z g\u00e8re tout \u00e7a, j\u2019ai \u00e9chang\u00e9 avec\u00a0Helena et Leo, ensemble depuis un peu plus de deux ans. Ils ont accept\u00e9 de parler de leurs limites, de leurs d\u00e9saccords et de ce qu\u2019ils ont appris avec le temps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAu d\u00e9but, on faisait comme si \u00e7a ne nous touchait pas\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Est-ce que les r\u00e9seaux sociaux ont d\u00e9j\u00e0 cr\u00e9\u00e9 des tensions entre vous ?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Oui, surtout au d\u00e9but. Je ne voulais pas passer pour la fille jalouse, donc je gardais certaines choses pour moi. Par exemple, quand je voyais qu\u2019il likait souvent les photos d\u2019une fille qu\u2019il connaissait, je me disais que ce n\u2019\u00e9tait s\u00fbrement rien. Mais au fond, \u00e7a m\u2019aga\u00e7ait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> Moi, au d\u00e9but, je ne comprenais pas vraiment. Pour moi, un like, c\u2019\u00e9tait juste un like. Je ne me disais pas que \u00e7a pouvait \u00eatre interpr\u00e9t\u00e9 comme quelque chose de plus. Apr\u00e8s, j\u2019ai compris que le probl\u00e8me, ce n\u2019\u00e9tait pas toujours l\u2019action en elle-m\u00eame, mais ce que \u00e7a pouvait provoquer chez l\u2019autre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mon avis :<\/strong> je pense qu\u2019on a tous d\u00e9j\u00e0 dit \u201cnon mais je m\u2019en fiche\u201d alors qu\u2019en vrai\u2026 pas du tout. Sur les r\u00e9seaux, tout est visible, mais rien n\u2019est vraiment expliqu\u00e9. On voit un like, une story, un abonnement, mais on ne conna\u00eet pas forc\u00e9ment l\u2019intention derri\u00e8re. Et c\u2019est souvent l\u00e0 que notre cerveau commence \u00e0 imaginer mille sc\u00e9narios.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Les likes : petit geste, grand d\u00e9bat<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Vous avez des r\u00e8gles sur les likes ?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> On n\u2019a pas une r\u00e8gle stricte du style \u201cinterdiction de liker telle personne\u201d. Ce serait trop bizarre. Mais on fait attention au contexte. Liker une photo de groupe, ce n\u2019est pas la m\u00eame chose que liker toutes les photos tr\u00e8s suggestives de quelqu\u2019un.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Oui, pour moi, c\u2019est surtout une question de respect. Je ne veux pas contr\u00f4ler ce qu\u2019il fait, mais je pense qu\u2019en couple, tu dois parfois te demander : \u201cEst-ce que ce comportement pourrait blesser ou mettre mal \u00e0 l\u2019aise l\u2019autre ?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> Et \u00e0 l\u2019inverse, il ne faut pas non plus tout prendre personnellement. Parfois, on like sans r\u00e9fl\u00e9chir. Mais si l\u2019autre explique que \u00e7a le touche, le minimum, c\u2019est d\u2019\u00e9couter au lieu de se braquer directement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Les stories : montrer son couple ou garder des choses priv\u00e9es ?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Est-ce que vous postez votre couple ?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Un peu, mais pas tout le temps. Au d\u00e9but, j\u2019avais tendance \u00e0 penser que s\u2019il ne me postait pas, c\u2019est qu\u2019il ne voulait pas vraiment m\u2019assumer. Maintenant, je vois les choses diff\u00e9remment. Il y a des couples tr\u00e8s heureux qui ne postent jamais rien, et des couples qui postent tout mais qui ne vont pas forc\u00e9ment bien.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> Moi, je ne suis pas quelqu\u2019un qui poste beaucoup, donc je ne comprenais pas pourquoi \u00e7a pouvait \u00eatre important pour elle. Apr\u00e8s, j\u2019ai compris que ce n\u2019\u00e9tait pas forc\u00e9ment une envie d\u2019exposer toute notre vie. Parfois, c\u2019est juste rassurant de sentir que l\u2019autre ne nous cache pas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> On a trouv\u00e9 un \u00e9quilibre. On poste parfois des moments ensemble, mais on garde aussi beaucoup de choses pour nous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mon avis :<\/strong> je trouve que c\u2019est un vrai sujet dans notre g\u00e9n\u00e9ration. D\u2019un c\u00f4t\u00e9, on a l\u2019impression que si ce n\u2019est pas post\u00e9, \u00e7a ne compte pas. De l\u2019autre, on entend souvent que \u201cles vrais couples heureux sont discrets\u201d. En r\u00e9alit\u00e9, je ne pense pas qu\u2019il y ait une bonne r\u00e9ponse. La vraie question, c\u2019est plut\u00f4t : est-ce qu\u2019on poste parce qu\u2019on en a envie, ou parce qu\u2019on veut prouver quelque chose ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Les ex : suivre, unfollow ou faire confiance ?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Les ex sur les r\u00e9seaux, c\u2019est un sujet chez vous ?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> Oui, \u00e7a l\u2019a \u00e9t\u00e9. Je suivais encore mon ex au d\u00e9but de notre relation. Pour moi, ce n\u2019\u00e9tait pas important parce qu\u2019on ne se parlait plus. Je ne voyais pas vraiment le probl\u00e8me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Moi, \u00e7a me d\u00e9rangeait un peu. Pas parce que je pensais qu\u2019il allait retourner avec elle, mais parce qu\u2019elle avait encore une petite pr\u00e9sence dans son quotidien. M\u00eame juste voir une story, \u00e7a reste une forme de lien.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> On en a parl\u00e9, et j\u2019ai fini par l\u2019unfollow parce que \u00e7a ne m\u2019apportait rien. Mais ce qui a chang\u00e9 les choses, c\u2019est qu\u2019elle ne me l\u2019a pas impos\u00e9. Elle m\u2019a expliqu\u00e9 ce que \u00e7a lui faisait ressentir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Oui, je pense que la mani\u00e8re de dire les choses change tout. Si tu dis \u201csupprime-la maintenant\u201d, \u00e7a cr\u00e9e directement une tension. Si tu dis \u201c\u00e7a me met mal \u00e0 l\u2019aise et voil\u00e0 pourquoi\u201d, \u00e7a ouvre une vraie discussion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Les mots de passe : transparence ou limite \u00e0 ne pas franchir ?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Est-ce que vous avez acc\u00e8s aux t\u00e9l\u00e9phones ou aux mots de passe de l\u2019autre ?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> On conna\u00eet nos codes, mais on ne fouille pas. Pour moi, \u00eatre en couple ne veut pas dire ne plus avoir d\u2019intimit\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> Pareil. Je n\u2019ai rien \u00e0 cacher, mais je n\u2019aimerais pas qu\u2019on lise mes conversations sans raison. Il y a aussi la vie priv\u00e9e des amis ou de la famille qui t\u2019\u00e9crivent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Je pense que si tu ressens le besoin de fouiller, c\u2019est qu\u2019il y a d\u00e9j\u00e0 un probl\u00e8me ailleurs. Soit il y a un manque de confiance, soit quelque chose n\u2019a pas \u00e9t\u00e9 r\u00e9gl\u00e9, soit les limites n\u2019ont jamais \u00e9t\u00e9 pos\u00e9es clairement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mon avis :<\/strong> je trouve que le t\u00e9l\u00e9phone est devenu un faux symbole de confiance. On se dit souvent : \u201cSi tu n\u2019as rien \u00e0 cacher, donne ton code.\u201d Mais pour moi, la vraie confiance, ce n\u2019est pas forc\u00e9ment avoir acc\u00e8s \u00e0 tout. C\u2019est ne pas ressentir le besoin de tout v\u00e9rifier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poser des limites sans contr\u00f4ler l\u2019autre<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Comment vous faites pour poser des r\u00e8gles sans tomber dans le contr\u00f4le ?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> On essaie de parler en partant de ce qu\u2019on ressent. Au lieu de dire \u201ctu fais n\u2019importe quoi\u201d, on dit plut\u00f4t \u201c\u00e7a me met mal \u00e0 l\u2019aise\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Et surtout, on \u00e9vite les r\u00e8gles absurdes. Interdire \u00e0 l\u2019autre de parler \u00e0 toutes les personnes du sexe oppos\u00e9, par exemple, pour moi ce n\u2019est pas une limite, c\u2019est du contr\u00f4le.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leo :<\/strong> Une limite saine, c\u2019est quelque chose qui prot\u00e8ge la relation. Le contr\u00f4le, c\u2019est quelque chose qui enferme l\u2019autre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helena :<\/strong> Et les limites doivent marcher dans les deux sens. Si je lui demande de faire attention \u00e0 certaines choses, je dois aussi \u00eatre pr\u00eate \u00e0 faire pareil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ce que leur couple a appris<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Avec le temps, Helena et Leo ont compris que les r\u00e9seaux sociaux ne cr\u00e9ent pas forc\u00e9ment les probl\u00e8mes, mais qu\u2019ils peuvent les amplifier. Une petite ins\u00e9curit\u00e9 peut prendre beaucoup plus de place \u00e0 cause d\u2019une story. Une jalousie l\u00e9g\u00e8re peut devenir une vraie dispute \u00e0 cause d\u2019un like. Une absence de communication peut se transformer en d\u00e9bat interminable \u00e0 cause d\u2019un simple \u201cvu\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mais leur t\u00e9moignage montre aussi qu\u2019il est possible d\u2019en parler sans tout dramatiser. On peut poser des limites sans surveiller. On peut dire qu\u2019un comportement nous blesse sans vouloir contr\u00f4ler toute la vie num\u00e9rique de l\u2019autre. On peut aussi reconna\u00eetre ses ins\u00e9curit\u00e9s sans en faire une r\u00e8gle impos\u00e9e \u00e0 l\u2019autre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alors, c\u2019est quoi une r\u00e8gle saine ?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

\u00c0 mon sens, une r\u00e8gle saine dans un couple, ce n\u2019est pas une interdiction pos\u00e9e par peur. C\u2019est plut\u00f4t un accord trouv\u00e9 \u00e0 deux, qui permet \u00e0 chacun de se sentir respect\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c7a peut \u00eatre : ne pas entretenir d\u2019ambigu\u00eft\u00e9 en DM, \u00e9viter certains likes qui peuvent blesser l\u2019autre, ne pas exposer ses disputes en story, ne pas fouiller dans le t\u00e9l\u00e9phone de l\u2019autre, ou simplement se dire clairement ce qu\u2019on accepte et ce qu\u2019on n\u2019accepte pas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mais le plus important, c\u2019est que ces r\u00e8gles soient discut\u00e9es, pas impos\u00e9es. Parce qu\u2019entre \u201cj\u2019ai besoin que tu respectes ma limite\u201d et \u201cje veux contr\u00f4ler ce que tu fais\u201d, il y a une vraie diff\u00e9rence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Les r\u00e9seaux sociaux font partie de nos vies, donc forc\u00e9ment, ils font aussi partie de nos relations. Les ignorer compl\u00e8tement, c\u2019est compliqu\u00e9. Les laisser tout d\u00e9cider, c\u2019est risqu\u00e9. Le plus sain, c\u2019est peut-\u00eatre d\u2019apprendre \u00e0 en parler simplement, sans juger, mais sans faire semblant que rien ne nous touche.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parce qu\u2019au fond, ce n\u2019est pas juste une histoire de likes, de stories ou de mots de passe. C\u2019est surtout une histoire de confiance, de respect et de communication. Et \u00e7a, m\u00eame sans Wi-Fi, \u00e7a reste la base.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pour aller plus loin<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
    \n
  • Social Media and Teen Romantic Relationships<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 Pew Research Center, 1 octobre 2015.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Couples, the Internet, and Social Media<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 Pew Research Center, 11 f\u00e9vrier 2014.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Adolescents\u2019 perceptions of digital media\u2019s potential to elicit jealousy, conflict and monitoring behaviors within romantic relationships<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 Joris Van Ouytsel et al., 2019.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Can \u201clike\u201d threaten love?<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 Universit\u00e9 de Montr\u00e9al, 3 d\u00e9cembre 2025.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Social media observation of ex-partners is associated with greater breakup distress, negative affect, and jealousy<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 Tara C. Marshall, mars 2026.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • 5 conseils pour prot\u00e9ger ma vie priv\u00e9e sur les r\u00e9seaux sociaux<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 CNIL, 30 ao\u00fbt 2019.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Mots de passe : recommandations pour ma\u00eetriser sa s\u00e9curit\u00e9<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014 CNIL, 14 octobre 2022.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

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